Five Days of FIVE ELEMENT NINJAS: Day 2

posted in: 1 - Film and TV | 0

Okay, so our noble defenders of traditional kung-fu (and kung-fu box office) have accepted the challenge of the invading Japanese genre- uh, army, and away we go – down the yellow brick path of vengeance to…

THE GOLD NINJA!

Icons of FEN, the gold ninja are rather polarizing to genre fans. The shiny lamé is high-cheese for sure, and you either love or hate this film the second they appear.
The martial arts in FEN may be unhinged absurdity, but it is CLEVER absurdity throughout. These metallic sun hats double as disorienting shields and dart-spewing wheels of death!

FEN consists of four major battle campaigns. We start with a straight-up duel between rival schools, with the evil group assisted by a shinobi grandmaster ‘ringer,’ who sets the plot in motion. The heroic dojo then breaks up into squads to face the five elemental crews one-by-one, and are absolutely SLAUGHTERED! Next, the ninja destroy what’s left of the school in an all out commando raid. Finally, four survivors hulk-up and figure out exotic new techniques. They retrace the steps of their fallen brothers, solving the puzzle of the elemental fighting gimmicks in equally brutal and shocking fashion as the initial meeting.

Its a simple but super effective structure for a non-stop actioner like FEN.

Gold elementals are evidently susceptible to a huge battle-axe upside the ass.

THE WOOD NINJA!

Right in the middle of the candy-dish of colorful ninja comes the only credible costuming of the elemental gimmicks. The wood ninja camouflage is actually superb, but their disguise methods are downright comedic.

Foam rubber tree suits, right out of Wizard of Oz, make for some gaffs, however the gore really increases here with the use of various claws.

The wood ninja may make the most sense in a lot of ways, but this is the crazy-8 bonkers world of Five Element Ninjas, so that common sense approach is eventually punished by the most brutal of all the ninja downfalls. The heroes assemble elaborate chain-and-sickles that double as capture hooks, and – with a smile –  literally dismember the woodland shinobi!

Tomorrow, Five Days of FEN continues with the most grisly killings yet.

Leave a Reply